i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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