why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
