5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize