it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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