I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
