honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
