Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my sisters under your porch take her home
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
