This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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