i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
