when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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