she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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