Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
