It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
