the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
