We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
