you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
