Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
