we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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