we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
