Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize