Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
