sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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