i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
