oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
