belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
