i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
