the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize