Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize