some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
