If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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