There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
