I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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