i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
