Whod you bang
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
