Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize