Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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