so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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