I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
