i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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