How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
