come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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