what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
