4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
