She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
