I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
