This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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