i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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