no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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