I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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