there's paper in my vomit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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