why didn't you poke me back
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
