no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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