Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
