The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
