Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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