just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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