When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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