the condom got lost in my hair
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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