plz talk dirty to me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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