I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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