Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
