I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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