a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
