ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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