in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
