you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
