Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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