...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
