In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
