Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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