Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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