Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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